DRIFTING

by Chelsea Nwasike

Themes: empty void; numbing pain; loss of self; hopelessness; life

THE WORDS

I’m drifting. 

Roaming this earth, 

Limping with an ache for purpose since birth. 

Drifting. 

 

Lost is me at the wake of each morning, 

Engulfed in the deafening silence  

Of an empty life. 

Wasting away this life that is only one. 

 

What’s the meaning of life 

When basking in the glory  

Of trivial victories is the pinnacle?

Ten years feeling like two. 

 

Strings of things and people I love, 

Thinning and thinning till it

Snaps 

And it’s just me left wondering; 

 What's the meaning of life? 

 

Life is beautiful, cruel, cold, bitter but sweet. 

Life is fleeting, that I am aware 

But how do I learn to truly live  

When there’s nothing to compare?

 

If I start to die when I’m born, 

Then when do I live? 

 

I keep running this static marathon, 

Barefoot on the charred carcass  

Of others who once lived. 

Pressure piercing through my knees 

With each aching stride. 

 

The wind, stretching my flesh  

Into wrinkled skin. 

My body scorching from the burning of 

That promised “sun” after the storm. 

People on tracks around me  

Dropping like flies. 

Drifting like a blind man  

Against this thing we don’t see         time. 

Time and time again,

Lonely. 

Not sure how far down this finishing line is, 

Or if there even is one. 

 

This surely can’t be life. 

 

And what happens if I choose to stop?  

No drifting, just halted.  

Do I finally breathe?  

Do I finally live? 

Do I finally taste the sweet nectar of a life I so long for?

Or        do I finally rest? 

 

What’s the meaning of life? 

What is the meaning of my life? 

God, please speak to me 

Because I’m drifting away.

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